Amour cela fait pas entacha
by Lord of the files
Summary: Focused on the more different side of Beastboy. When one grieves the heart is closed, but who will open Beastboy's heart again?


_Hello, it is I LOF. I am attempting to write a story of BBSF because it is a challenge not many people are willing to take. This is a one-shot until further notice. Also if you want me to continue I will make it a Rob/Rae fic next time. This is my first time so any help will be appreciated, thank you much-**Lord of the Files**_

_Ps title means Love that is not tainted_

Amour cela fait pas entacha 

First Person-Beastboy

Have you ever been so close but so far? Have you ever been just so alone? It's been three weeks since Terra sealed herself up on her stony tomb. I still mourn for her, because she saw past this false exterior, and saw me. Not many people have that patience or that much caring. I can tell the rest of the team believes I'm a fool, but I don't care. I really don't, if I can get a smile on their face by the end of the day I feel I seceded. I sighed and looked at the clock. Four thirty in the morning, what type of time is that to wake up? I got out of bed and started to stretch out the kinks in my neck. I walked over to my littered desk and opened it up. Inside were my few precious objects. There is an old photograph of my parents and I before they died. A little to the left was the picture of the team I was with before coming to this one, occasional I go to put flowers on their graves. There was a crumbled up piece of paper, where I tried to think up ways to ask Terra out. I closed those memories sharply, just as one would shut a door.

'Don't go there,' I thought 'No point hurting yourself over again'.

So I shut the desk and looked at the clock. It blinked the numbers four thirty-five. I sighed and started to make my way to the nightstand. I opened it and pulled out a book, opening it I skipped the first few pages that were blank, and started to write. She always told me to write down my thoughts, and if I didn't they would come back with vengeance. I just wrote down all my thoughts and emotions for a while. I looked back at my clock, now it said something more favorable, ten forty five.

'Still too early for me to come out' I thought.

I closed the book and put it back to it's resting place. I sighed and started to listen to the sounds coming from the tower. Cyborg, my half machine friend, made his way noisily to the kitchen. A few seconds later I heard the clatter of pans and heard some footsteps past by my door.

'Must be Robin or Raven' I thought 'Star usually floats to the kitchen and Cyborg is in the kitchen'.

Robin and Raven, now those two are very curious. Robin our fearless leader and Raven our residential sorceress both hide under masks, some metaphoric or real in Robins case. Both try to be heartless, but are the two nicest people I have met. I blinked and kept my eyes closed for a while and exhaled a deep breath. I reopened my eyes and looked at my timepiece. The contraption said it was almost eleven twelve. I paused, just wondering, 'Where does the time go?'

I got up from my bed and patted myself down, willing myself to be as joyful as I can. I walked out of my room and tried to walk groggily to the kitchen.

"Hey BB!" said my cyber enhanced friend said "Guess what we are havin' this mornin'?"

"Some tofu pancakes with a side helping of soy milk?"

Cyborg's face grimaced and said, "Of course not, we're having bacon, eggs, sausage, and buttermilk pancakes".

Now being a vegetarian, I didn't like the menu and tried to protest, but he stopped me from starting.

"But I made some tofu for you too"

Now I was suspicious, usually I had to argue and plead, then he would agree. Something foul was in the air, but I responded "Thanks dude, I knew you would give in eventually"

He smiled and said "Hey what are friends for?"

My built in danger signal went off, it was telling me 'Danger, Danger!'

So keeping it cool, I looked around and located the other titans. Robin and Star were watching documentary about World War two. And Raven was in the corner, reading a thick volume. I sat myself down next to Star and asked "The show any good?"

She looked at me with her usually innocent look and said "The show is fine friend Beastboy but I do not understand something in particular".

'So formal' I thought, but aloud I asked, "What do you not get?"

"I do not understand why Earthlings settle their conflicts with war"

Now that was a tough one to answer, no wonder Robin didn't answer.

"Friend Raven said it is because of 'human nature', but what do you believe?"

I was surprised, pleasantly surprised mind you, but surprised none the less. No one asked my thoughts or opinions, ever since Terra died. Unfortunately I was so surprised that I was taken back and she thought I was uncomfortable with the question.

"You do not have to answer if you wish so, friend" she said with a trace of disappointment.

'Always on a quest to learn, huh Star' I thought.

"Nah I was just thinking about your question," I said before continuing "I think it is because people have used violence to settle matters in the past, and people haven't grown out of that, I guess".

The room was quiet for a moment, and noticing the silence looked around. Raven was looking from atop her book with her eyebrow up slightly. Robin was looking at me with those masked eyes, me not knowing what look they were giving me. But Star did not seem to be fazed at all and said, "Thank you friend Beastboy that has brought a new prospective that I did not think of before".

I smiled a bit and shrugged. I looked up from the couch and said to Cyborg raisin my voice slightly, "When do we eat?"

"Hold your horses Beastboy…and don't be sarcastic and turn into a horse like last time".

I smiled showing off a lot of teeth, like a guilty child. I turned suddenly and saw that Starfire was looking at me. Deciding to let it slip, I asked, "So how far goes the war"

Star looked a little confused, but Robin answered for both of them, "It is now nineteen forty-five".

I said ah and then continued to watch the program. Star would ask me questions every once in a while and I'd answer to the best of my ability.

Until she asked, "Do you still think of her Beastboy?"

Taken back from the question, I looked at her, my eyes wide.

Everyone was looking at me, and I didn't like it. There eyes piercing me as if I was on stage and they were critics. Looking at my face trying to see any fault.

'Thanks guys, you're my best friends' too' I thought dejectedly.

I looked at their eyes and got a basic conclusion of their thoughts. Cyborgs' eye was that of brotherly concern, Robins blank and white as always, Ravens was that of interest, and I couldn't place Starfires'. Were those eyes of hope or of something I haven't seen since Terra went away?

"Well" said a voice interrupting my thoughts.

"Part of me will always remember, as do I think that you guys…and girls…will too. We all share the same grief…it's just mine was a little more important to me that's all. I am over her and you don't have to be concerned about me anymore".

'There you vultures, you got to my heart…hopefully you don't try and get my stomach too'

'…Speaking of stomach' I thought.

"When do we eat?"

My voice apparently brought them out of their thoughts and Cyborg said jovially "Right now green boy"

I got up and made my way to the kitchen. Arriving at our kitchen, I fixed my plate of tofu and soymilk deliquesces that made my mouth water in anticipation. I made my way to the table when I heard my name being said softly. I turned my head to the source of the sound and only saw Starfire making her way to the kitchen.

'Now on top of things, I'm going crazy' I thought.

I shrugged and made my way to my usual seat. I started to eat when everyone finally sat down. For some reason I want everyone to be there before I eat. I guess so I can count my blessings. I am blessed to have all these great friends. I'm thankful to be here, although sometimes I wish that I could be here with fewer experiences.

After eating, everyone started his or her usual routine. Robin was going to train, Raven was going back to her lair, and Cyborg was going to work on the T-car. Starfire asked me if I would accompany her to view the vision of tell. I agreed, hey it's better then just sitting around moping.

"Is there anything in particular?" I asked.

"No not at all friend, what you wish to view I will view as well"

'What do I do?' I thought to myself.

"Want to learn more of Earth's history?" I said not wishing to explain every other word like you did when you watched something other then histories.

"Yes, I would appreciate that," she told me with a small smile on her face.

Now being with Starfire for this long got me much aquatinted with her smiles. This one though was different. It made her—

"Is something the matter"

Snapping my head back to reality, much like a rubber band, I said quickly "No just thinking".

She looked at me for a second and then said softly "May I ask what?"

Fortunately (or is it unfortunately) the theme song for a documentary came up. This one was on the Vietnam Conflict. Star was memorized at the TV, never before hearing what had happened there. I was tempted to turn it off. I thought why and came to this conclusion. Starfire is too innocent to hear this; she did not deserve to lose that innocence. Everyone should stay innocent as long as they can.

"May I ask you a question friend?"

"Of course Star, you always can".

"Why are kisses important?"

She was on a roll to catch me off guard. I didn't know how to respond, so I decided to go for the obvious solution…stall for time.

"Where did you hear that from?" I asked.

"I read the proclamation in a book in the mall whilst I was waiting for Raven to make her decisionon a book," she countered.

Fortunately her talking gave me the answer I needed.

"Kissing is important to some people, because they believe it shows their affection towards a person"

"But that is not the only way, correct?" she asked after a moment.

"There are many ways," I said hesitantly.

"Such as?"

"Well there is…sweet talking…uh…um…well…"

"'Sweet talking'?" she said as if tasting the word.

"It's like me saying 'you look beautiful Star'"

Hers eyes widen a moment and looked at me suspiciously.

"I said like".

Her eyes looked saddened at this. Knowing my passive nature, my first thought was to not press the issue, but something told me to.

"Starfire" I said gently and looking at her softly in the eyes.

"Y-y-yy-ee-eeee-ssss" she asked stuttering a lot.

I had some doubts on what to do. Then I heard Terra's voice. She told me to move on and to be happy. For a spilt second I understood what she meant.

"Would you like to go out with me?"

She looked at me with surprise and clear confusion.

Then I thought for a second, then said "Would you let me courtship you?"

She then understood, and she looked at me deeply and said in a low whisper "Yes".

_Well that's the crap I write. Please review…or the Fanfiction Mafia will break my fingers.-Lord of the Files_


End file.
